hopes..

3rd december2010

when every teachers try to help u and ur friends cheer u, u feel happy,warm and caring...but in the end,unwillingly...u bring the bad results for them....this kind of feeling,who will ever understand?? i am maybe....

after my physic paper,i was totally gived up hope....i scored 34/50 in my paper 1....paper 2 i was quite not sure...but paper 3 i was pretty confident that i would score between 30-35/40 marks..... my mother always tell me that it is fine that i din get any A,but make sure i never fail.... i knew she was trying to comfort me by not giving me pressure....and then...life is still going on.... I have a tuition teacher..everyone has too and some don't... my teacher told me that i will get A- for my physic.... but after i saw the score of my paper 1, i was devastated....thinking of i'm going to let him down....and the whole physic class get A except me a little hopeless guy...

so do u guys understand the feeling?? i lost my study mood...and if i really cant get A,how am i going to face my teacher??.... Many of my friends support me and keep telling me that i shouldn't has any problem... The truth is i'm going to let them down too....when the day the result has announced,the 1st moment that i will walk out from the hall with what kind of emotion??..sad?happy?....and later on,ringing will be heard...And i will be busy replying every ppl who asking about my results...If i pass with flying colour, i will talk loudly to them to show them that my effort is worth....if i fail,i will also talk loudly to ignore them by not telling them the result.....

why is it so suffer to be a human that i don't really wanna be? when u r born,u start learning from kindergarden to primary school....then study n having exam in the secondary school..later get degree from college....after that,u start working then u marry...or some continue studying...some maybe give up everything.... i just wanna to be an extraordinary guy...i want to do something different.... i wanna to do something that is meaningful and bring honour to the country and family... i don't want to sit down and wait miracle happens...the reason of sitting at home for studying whole day is just to sit for 2 hours exam only????

If good result can please and relief the burden of my family,
i am willing to fight from the beginning till the end....

-by me