第一次的约会,她很静.......都是我在讲话,她都在点头,然后按电话.......后来那个地方发生了一些事情,戏看不成.....到了夜晚,她把relationship status 改掉了,变单身了...第二天,她回信来说,她叫我还是做回普通朋友吧, 当作一切都没发生过....我问了她的最好朋友原由,哪知道她告诉我:"你们不是趁愚人节放爽而已吗?"
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
真真假假
几年前,我在补习中心认识了一位女生..我跟她呢...简直是冤家...一来就整天吵架....是想不到后来的几年我们暧昧了....我开始向她告白,她也接受了..愚人节那天,我们update status 料....
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
My time has come
Blogging time...
It's quite a long time i didn't update my stories already.... and Finally!!!! Shayne has come Back !!
During my Tarc College life, it's kinda stressful and awesome... I have experienced alot... I faced alot of troubles, obstacles... But i also succeeded and deserved the right victory..
After my spm result announced at last year 2011, i started to seek for a part time job... I worked as a waiter in 3 different restaurants , sales promoter of PC ExPo and worked in the kitchen of restaurant too... I saw a lot of different ppl.... and get bullied by some of them... I met gays...but majority of them are kind. That doesn't mean i agree with their lifestyles...Just sometimes i feel pity for their background story... As for selling products during PC Expo, the only thing i can share is... Just help to sell the products regardless of which method you use to lie the customer... After that, i swore myself for not doing any sales promoter any....
Although i study the course of electronic engineering, i do hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher.. So i chose home tuition as my part time jobs... i never think of going to the tuition center to teach.. I dislike to have too many students in a class... Some students are slow and some of them are clever.. And i couldn't manage to focus everyone of them.. Some ppl like me were born from a poor or middle family and slow in learning... What if the teacher is unable to pay good attention on us? We and the rich students pay the same fees, but i can't really absorb everything from you... So that's the reason i never want to teach in the tuition center.. I'd rather have one to one or a small group of students and i try my best to help them... Yes! i made it... Now i have atleast 10 students... some of them successfully scored A in all my subjects... The miracle is before they came to me, their result were never higher than 30% marks, and now they got A... That's the victory i have earned .... And i found myself a study method.. So i used it to my students... It works! I believe all of them can score it
In the first semester of Tarc college, i studied and worked together... I only have little time to watch television and out-dating... After class, i started to study,never waste time... Finally i got a good result... i don't mind to share my cgpa 3.82, i got 75% of scholarship as well... But my gpa dropped to 3.66 in the second semester... Although didn't fail of any paper.... This semester i have got to improve! i promise after tomorrow, onlines and television will cut down... just allow myself for half an hour for them... Maybe i don't have time for them either... cause my tuition time has taken alot..
All classroom will have a clever person... I do have this kind of friend.... I respect him very much.... he is quick in learning....every harder subjects just takes him a few times to understand... During a lab experiment, he is the only one who can get the reading... I tried very hard to be like him, but i failed.... Without him, we cannot submit our report...I hope to be like him, i will work harder!
studying, working and exercising all have filled in my daily life, i will be much more stress than an ordinary people..... That's the truth.. But i was born to break the limit...Show ppl that if i can do something extraordinary, they can do it so... don't let urself become a lazy person, pull ur socks and run it now! My time has come, fight it tomorrow.!!
It's quite a long time i didn't update my stories already.... and Finally!!!! Shayne has come Back !!
During my Tarc College life, it's kinda stressful and awesome... I have experienced alot... I faced alot of troubles, obstacles... But i also succeeded and deserved the right victory..
After my spm result announced at last year 2011, i started to seek for a part time job... I worked as a waiter in 3 different restaurants , sales promoter of PC ExPo and worked in the kitchen of restaurant too... I saw a lot of different ppl.... and get bullied by some of them... I met gays...but majority of them are kind. That doesn't mean i agree with their lifestyles...Just sometimes i feel pity for their background story... As for selling products during PC Expo, the only thing i can share is... Just help to sell the products regardless of which method you use to lie the customer... After that, i swore myself for not doing any sales promoter any....
Although i study the course of electronic engineering, i do hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher.. So i chose home tuition as my part time jobs... i never think of going to the tuition center to teach.. I dislike to have too many students in a class... Some students are slow and some of them are clever.. And i couldn't manage to focus everyone of them.. Some ppl like me were born from a poor or middle family and slow in learning... What if the teacher is unable to pay good attention on us? We and the rich students pay the same fees, but i can't really absorb everything from you... So that's the reason i never want to teach in the tuition center.. I'd rather have one to one or a small group of students and i try my best to help them... Yes! i made it... Now i have atleast 10 students... some of them successfully scored A in all my subjects... The miracle is before they came to me, their result were never higher than 30% marks, and now they got A... That's the victory i have earned .... And i found myself a study method.. So i used it to my students... It works! I believe all of them can score it
In the first semester of Tarc college, i studied and worked together... I only have little time to watch television and out-dating... After class, i started to study,never waste time... Finally i got a good result... i don't mind to share my cgpa 3.82, i got 75% of scholarship as well... But my gpa dropped to 3.66 in the second semester... Although didn't fail of any paper.... This semester i have got to improve! i promise after tomorrow, onlines and television will cut down... just allow myself for half an hour for them... Maybe i don't have time for them either... cause my tuition time has taken alot..
All classroom will have a clever person... I do have this kind of friend.... I respect him very much.... he is quick in learning....every harder subjects just takes him a few times to understand... During a lab experiment, he is the only one who can get the reading... I tried very hard to be like him, but i failed.... Without him, we cannot submit our report...I hope to be like him, i will work harder!
studying, working and exercising all have filled in my daily life, i will be much more stress than an ordinary people..... That's the truth.. But i was born to break the limit...Show ppl that if i can do something extraordinary, they can do it so... don't let urself become a lazy person, pull ur socks and run it now! My time has come, fight it tomorrow.!!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
2 more weeks to go
I have alot to update ....but i have to wait for another 2 weeks.... hope i can share many things when the time has come....
Friday, November 4, 2011
fed up
人心很可怕
I learnt many things in my college life...i 've seen, experienced and realized....
There are people who will never admit their mistakes even though they knew that they are wrong...Some of them feels that their point view is right even though they are wrong...furthermore,
quite a number of them influence the people or even force them to accept the fact that they are right even though they are not..
My father is one of the example.... and i'm trying to stay away from him...My mother couldn't stand him anymore....i cant help her but only can listen to her,chat with her.....
Example of the incident in China,the van crashed a child by accidentally.... there are about 7/8 witnesses,but no one stand out to help..... the driver who crashed the child didn't feel any guilty....he said if the child ran slower abit,then the incident wont be happened..... On the other hand,the witnesses during the incident pretended never see the child and the accident before....only one of them felt guilty of it.....
Just like my course-mates.....they made noise and disrespect the lecturer....then the lecturer gave all of us a sudden test.... one of my friend voiced out and criticized the one who disrespect the lecturer.... in the end the people twisted the situation and claimed themselves that they were right at that time.... Finally i stood out to shoot all of them..... "we paid here to study not making noise....we didn't blame of you for the sudden test,only for the people who didn't respect the lecturer....."
But....
some of the people,they were trying to create conflict ....said that i blame the whole class for the sudden test and i'm the one who start the quarrel and fight......
imagine after 10 years,what they will look like......
Maybe that is why doomsday is going to fall on us.....
fed up
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
"A View from the Zoo"
"A View from the Zoo", Gary Richmond describes how a newborn giraffe learns its first lesson.
When it doesn't get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again. The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby calf grows tired, the mother kicks it again to stimulate its efforts. Finally, the calf stands for the first time on its wobbly legs.
Then the mother giraffe does the most remarkable thing. She kicks it off its feet again. Why? She wants it to remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they'd get it too, if the mother didn't teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.
Friday, June 10, 2011
right or wrong?
What it is all about life??? I feel so hatred! I feel so tired and annoying .... If i can choose, i choose i have never exist in this world.. What have happened in this afternoon,i know it was a small matter, but i know that a small reaction that will sooner result a big different in the future.
We were preparing for the (H.E) assignment and everytime only the 3 of us were doing and he didn't.. He never ask,never care and never touch... All he has to do is just sitting at home and wait for the marks... That is his definition of teamwork... so far he only attended the meeting for ----one time. after we had completed the assignment, i went to the printing shop to print out the assignment due to no printer in my house. Then the assignment caused me rm10. So i decided to share the payment with my team. 3 of us paid rm2. And i charged him double plus the binding,so overall i charged him rm5. Since he has never helped, then it is fair that he pays double for the assignment. I know this is not right,but i have to do so. Atleast he can help out with the money. But he seemed like not willing to pay it. And dare to push all the responsibility to us.... And accused us that everytime we didn't inform him about the meeting. Like we must have the duty of informing him to go to meeting. Won't u ask har????? Have u ever care for the assignment? Atleast help us some typing....or help us do the kandungan,pendahuluan or kesimpulan... HAve u ever ask?? Have u???? Then i kept quarrel with him with all the funny words come out.... the ppl around stared at us, and i shut the door loudly and straight walked away.Then i sms him after i reached home. " It is fine that u dun wan to cooperate and pay. Now i'm giving u the right thing to choose,either u pay me,or we meet Muthu(lecturer). Both are from chung hwa,dun sia sui chung hwa ppl... If u feel i'm wrong to charge u double,then ma pay me rm2 lo.... If u are gentleman, then pay rm2 lo.It is fine for me since u feel right. Friendly speaking,my team, no ppl support u 1...Right or wrong is up to u."
Actually I wanna tell Muthu about this situation. Atleast he will get his punishment due to his mistakes. I rather he hates me and change it than he hurts other ppl in the future. In this situation,both of us are wrong. and neighter of us is right.From another side, If i didn't charge him double,maybe the conflict will never exist. If i as a group leader, has that duty to always inform him for the meeting, then maybe the conflict will never happen. Either i push all the responsibility to him or i carry all the responsibility....
本是同班的，相煎何太及？ 不气又不行，气他费精力。。 粗话乱处撒，像小便那
样撒，虽然他潇洒，但是我不傻。
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
AIM
Go Green, Live Green!!! we have 3R.... re- use, re-duce, re- cycle
Questions, Answers!!!! we have 3 R also... Re-vise, Re-call, Re-view
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Don't view her page.....don't....!!! control..... she is chatting with another guy....... i know... stop envying ... she's not belongs to mine alrdy....
I'm totally agree at the above sentence..... When you gave up,i must let it go.... She did not want to have any special relationship with me....
Whatever...... as long as u feel happy
Friday, April 22, 2011
不想你了。不在乎你了。。不爱你了。放弃了
一天晚上，四月18号。。
我已经不想你了
你的照片在我电话中，我未曾散除。 我时常拿来看看你，回忆你。
我的确不想你了
我常在fb等你上线，我常检查电话，看看最后一封信息是否有回复到你。
我已经不在乎你了
我常注意你的fb是否有更新，看看你跟谁聊，可能是想看是不是跟别的男生聊天吧。。
我的确不在乎你了
你fb上的照片，我想放个赞，想要引起你的注意。我故意跟很多漂亮的女生交谈，想看看你对我的反应。。
————————————————————————————————————————————————
我不爱你了。。
这次我是认真了
我违反了我的原则，
谈了恋爱那么多次那么多年，
我违反了我一路来的原则。
“我不喜欢等待。我不会浪费时间在一个不爱我的人身上.如果她不爱我了，我也会自动放弃了。当你还爱我的时候，我是不会离开你的。 我不在乎曾经拥有，我在乎的是天长地久。一段恋情若是结束了，就是结束了，无需再提”
但，
今天我确违反了。。。
我想她，
我在乎她，
我还爱她。。
不过她已经不爱我了。。
我变成不再是以前的我了。
"你不知道的事"这首歌以成为我对你的挂念及倾诉了..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我放弃了...
你永远都看不到我在想什么,我在写什么..
因为...
我只会在这里叙述我的心情
你不会知道我多么的想你,
你不会知道我天天背负着承重的心情..
我放弃你了...我会好好过,
放心吧...
因为多的是你不知道的事......
Sunday, March 27, 2011
It's not too simple
hoping to have a good results in spm,but in the end i failed to achieve what I want.. I couldn't get to F6,and I cant fulfilled my dreams... It is not too easy get score a subject....I mean me....MYSELF alright?? Although many people who get straight As will disagree. But listen,only that straight As guys will disagree.... The people like me,who had put much effort to face it..... I know my standard,no more blaming..
My class will start at 3rd of May,i will close my facebook and only play on saturday and sunday ....My mom has to pay rm10000 for the diploma this coming 2 years.... If i cant pass,her money will be wasted.... So I need to change....I mean my attitude....and my habits . I have been finding all the excuses for not changing myself.... Because when you are 100% focusing on your studies, you cannot fallen in love with anyone.... Maybe someone will disagree,they said as long as you can manage your study time well... Allow me to refute, how many people in this world will actually can make it??? minority??that is the problem.... And i'm not belongs to them.... If my another half is mature enough,know when and what is the time for us to be together and the time for studying together....Then my life is perfect... Life is not as simple as you think... Is it so easy to find someone who really suits to you?? It's not too simple...
Life is simple,It's just not too easy.... This is the background of my blog...Sometimes I want to laugh but i have to sigh.... Endure ,endure and endure......Don't give up though the pace seems slow...
My class will start at 3rd of May,i will close my facebook and only play on saturday and sunday ....My mom has to pay rm10000 for the diploma this coming 2 years.... If i cant pass,her money will be wasted.... So I need to change....I mean my attitude....and my habits . I have been finding all the excuses for not changing myself.... Because when you are 100% focusing on your studies, you cannot fallen in love with anyone.... Maybe someone will disagree,they said as long as you can manage your study time well... Allow me to refute, how many people in this world will actually can make it??? minority??that is the problem.... And i'm not belongs to them.... If my another half is mature enough,know when and what is the time for us to be together and the time for studying together....Then my life is perfect... Life is not as simple as you think... Is it so easy to find someone who really suits to you?? It's not too simple...
Life is simple,It's just not too easy.... This is the background of my blog...Sometimes I want to laugh but i have to sigh.... Endure ,endure and endure......Don't give up though the pace seems slow...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
我的第一步
2011 到了。。。我的生活依然没改变。。。。反正没有人来看我的blog，我就随着我的心意去叙述 我近来的心情。。。但我还是会怕人家偷看我的blog...哈哈哈。。。无妨啦。。。这无名小翠的地方没人观看的。。 哪像其他人在facebook介绍他们的blog..展现他们的照片。。哈哈哈
归入正题，我不埋怨谁也不埋怨天。。。我只埋怨我自己为什么那么的直？？。。难听一点就是笨！ 读书已经不是那么有才华了再加上没有远见的思想！ 我真的很不明白我所决定的一切是错误的，永远都是别人的对。 之前我不想读学院,是因为我不想浪费妈妈的钱。。供哥哥的学费，我已经眼睛看妈妈怎样辛苦了。。。。读F6 至少可以减轻许多负担，还可以让我大显身手，拼实力考入大学。。。还可以陪battery。一箭双雕....但妈妈并不是那么想的。。。。她很清楚我的程度的，凡是都有万一，一旦我考不进大学。。。我就足足浪费两年！ 她宁远现在我恨她，也不让将来来恨她。。。 一切都以我的前途来着想...浪费钱是一定的！ 但只要熬过那五年。拿到文凭做工，再还钱给妈妈。。。那就等于没有欠或浪费了。。从这里看来，谁比较理智？？？感到做人惭愧
毕业了，在家嫌着没事做就去做part time 餐厅。刚开始曾想一次过做到3月去直到成绩出炉。。就从餐厅经理跟我谈薪水的那一刻起，这里我正要阐述我的笨蛋想法。。。如果是part time ，工作一个小时rm5，早上到晚上加起来一天可能赚rm55。 如果做长久工，如果 不算利息的话，一个月的薪水只赚rm600 而已。。。。然而，我尽然去答应？？？。。。。 当 这件事让妈妈知道后，就足足被她骂了一顿。。。她说我为什么那么的笨？？。。。 如果做长工，就等于一天的工作站12个小时才rm20....那你说，我笨吗？？。。 还好我推辞了经理，只做了一些散工而已...至少至今，一个月我捱了不少。。。赚了rm1000 为自己的零用钱。。。。我很不明白，难道我根本没有自己主宰的命运吗？？？一辈子都得靠妈妈的理智而生活？？？当她不在了，我得靠谁了？？？。。。。 我靠自己都已经不行了，还整天被人家骂我直，骂我笨。。。上天，难道我的命运就此注定一辈子这样蠢吗？？？
虽然在等着成绩的期间，我见识了人心黑暗的一面。。。。但这只是社会中的小部分。。。并没有什么可以称得上“见识”。。。 在餐厅里，各工作人员都是互相利用。。。早上的管理人员与晚上的管理员都是分派的。。。多数里面的工作人员或厨师都是文盲或是没有教育的。。。。这点不出奇。。。。但最重要的是品德。。。人的地位有差异，但人的品德是不应该有差异的。。。但在厨房里的气氛，每个人都是言语不雅，心情都是非常暴躁的。。他们根本不能和你平心静气的说话，只要稍微开口就满天三字经。 不光是他们，连常工的男男女女都是如此。。。人是没有所谓的十全十美，只有不断的改善朝着你要的标准。 在餐厅里，没有所谓的公正。只要一人做了小小的错，责任肯定推到我们做散工的份上。我们没有任何的理由狡辩，唯有默默的接受。 我相信这也是社会中到处都会看到的事实，我只不过是一条毛毛虫而已。。哈哈哈 。。。。
有一位职员，对我甚是关心。。。只不过嘴巴只是爱讲人而已，心地可是好。 常常保护我，教我如何回避那些只会催我做他们的份量，而自己却在那里偷懒。。。 那位职员曾问我打算做长工吗？我说不是。 她对我说：“这是没有前途的。。” 这句话的含义很深，开始明白教育的重要性。。。虽然不是说厨师不好，一个餐厅主要的成败不在于管理人员，而是一位经验的厨师。没有他们，餐厅是无法立足的。 但换是我，我可不想一辈子都在呆在厨房里不见天日吧。。虽然这是一种人人都敬佩的才艺，一家人的幸福就是靠美食佳肴而带来的。。 我很清楚我不是这一行的人。。 在餐厅里，很少会听到人家对我的称赞，反而被骂的统统都是同一句：“你为什么那么笨？？头脑不会转吗？？”
Thursday, December 23, 2010
【原创】每月家庭收入RM3000能在马来西亚生存吗？
让我们来做个简单的计算。
在马来西亚，平均一个家庭收入每月RM3000（爸爸做工，妈妈没有）
我理解很多家庭收入没有办法达到每月RM3000，但我来做个简单的计算以RM3000做个标准，ok?
好，现在我们从一个家庭基本成员开始，有爸爸，妈妈，1个儿子，1个女儿。刚刚好~
现在开始计算每月花费……
水电费：RM100（没有冷气机，没有音响设备，没有热水器……ok？）
电话费：RM100
家人的伙食费：RM775 （3餐 RM25/一日，RM25 4 个人……？）
爸爸工作时间需要的伙食费/喝茶费用：RM155 （RM5/一日，RM5 还要包括喝茶费，可以吃什么？）
供车费：RM400 （一辆 Proton Saga Aeroback，7年分期付款）
汽车油费（住在市区，交通阻塞）：RM300 （去上班，载孩子上学，只能够承担一辆车的油费）
保险费：RM650 （孩子，妻子和自己）
供屋子费：RM750 （Low cost house，供30年，退休后还要找钱供！！！）
补习费：RM80 （有那么便宜？）
大儿子在学校的零用钱：RM20 （RM1/一日，吃面包？）
学费：RM30（够咩？）
买书费等：RM100 （通常都超额）
小女儿的奶粉费：RM50 （不能含有DHA, BHA, PHA 的，很贵）
日常用品费：RM100 （洗头水，米，酱油，卫生纸等）
到这里我还要备注！
不能有Astro，
不能去戏院看电影，
不能买DVD ，
不能买CD，
不能online，
不能吃KFC，
不能吃McDonald，
周末或公共假期不能去公园 （因为塞车等，油费贵，入门票贵）
不能和公公婆婆通电话煲电话粥，等
让我们总结一下以上所有费用，RM3610！！！
还没有扣公积金 EPF，所得税 Income Tax，每个月就得花费RM3610
另外我相信，还有许多人的薪水一个月没法得到RM3000，所以……各位想成家的朋友们，请好好考虑清楚~
Saturday, December 11, 2010
11st December 2010
this morning every of my eastlife friend all woke up late....and late for school...haha....When i reached school,i saw melody waiting in the music room alone....oops...pity.. she came at about 8am...but we all 10 something only came...hahaha...and her mouth...omg.... allergic...she wore a mask to cover her donald duck's mouth....pity o...
i talked with jia huey alot....my hair stand when she called me rong rong....yeee.....i prefer battery calls me.hahaha.... Then i played badminton with my eastlife friend....quite fun...although they played alot than me...cause i was keep talking with ROTI....hahaha...he told me about his NS life...he told me that they marching in the afternoon....my goodness....that's why every people turn coco colour...5 meals a day and they woke up earlier in the morning ...about 5am....especially for the malay,they woke even more earlier,cause they need to pray..... boys and girls are separate into 2 groups...haiz... no chance recognize girl girl....hahaha
i have plenty to tell out here...but i forgot some...will update soon..
this morning every of my eastlife friend all woke up late....and late for school...haha....When i reached school,i saw melody waiting in the music room alone....oops...pity.. she came at about 8am...but we all 10 something only came...hahaha...and her mouth...omg.... allergic...she wore a mask to cover her donald duck's mouth....pity o...
i talked with jia huey alot....my hair stand when she called me rong rong....yeee.....i prefer battery calls me.hahaha.... Then i played badminton with my eastlife friend....quite fun...although they played alot than me...cause i was keep talking with ROTI....hahaha...he told me about his NS life...he told me that they marching in the afternoon....my goodness....that's why every people turn coco colour...5 meals a day and they woke up earlier in the morning ...about 5am....especially for the malay,they woke even more earlier,cause they need to pray..... boys and girls are separate into 2 groups...haiz... no chance recognize girl girl....hahaha
i have plenty to tell out here...but i forgot some...will update soon..
Monday, December 6, 2010
unfair
6th December 2010
God,why r U being unfair to everyone.... although i know what we do in the present,it brings to the future.... Why some people are lucky and some don't....like me unlucky guy.... why no one deserves a fair life....???why none of the life is equal???....
i saw ppl born from rich family....they are handsome and pretty...They are talented and are future of leader.... what they want,their parents will give.... And they both have a lucky fate ...just like lucky draw,they will earn alot from them...
But i'm nothing... i'm not born from gold spoon.... I study very hard but the results are still the same with the ppl who study at the last minutes... I didn't have a good memory power... people use 2 days to study,i use 4 days... My mother always pour salts on wounds of my heart... she does not give supports and any courage... i tried very best to answer,but this does not please her....I know my brother is better than me...he is now a degree engineering.... but me??? i'm nothing.... my cousin's mother always compare my results with her son... chung lin high school huh??? yeaa...i'm not...!! i'm chung hwa guy.... i let my school feel ashamed ok???
i very jealous many of my friends...when i see things they have and i don't....this make me feel depress.... I also hope for getting good results because i know this will help to relief the burden of my family.... i didn't expect the results will be like that.... i suffer pressure from the surrounding..... there are alot example which even worse than me,some even commit suicide...... in the positive way,i might be the luckiest one....in other way, i was nothing compare to my friends...
Result is killing me,
affecting my mood and
my future....
Who can console me?no one....
God,why r U being unfair to everyone.... although i know what we do in the present,it brings to the future.... Why some people are lucky and some don't....like me unlucky guy.... why no one deserves a fair life....???why none of the life is equal???....
i saw ppl born from rich family....they are handsome and pretty...They are talented and are future of leader.... what they want,their parents will give.... And they both have a lucky fate ...just like lucky draw,they will earn alot from them...
But i'm nothing... i'm not born from gold spoon.... I study very hard but the results are still the same with the ppl who study at the last minutes... I didn't have a good memory power... people use 2 days to study,i use 4 days... My mother always pour salts on wounds of my heart... she does not give supports and any courage... i tried very best to answer,but this does not please her....I know my brother is better than me...he is now a degree engineering.... but me??? i'm nothing.... my cousin's mother always compare my results with her son... chung lin high school huh??? yeaa...i'm not...!! i'm chung hwa guy.... i let my school feel ashamed ok???
i very jealous many of my friends...when i see things they have and i don't....this make me feel depress.... I also hope for getting good results because i know this will help to relief the burden of my family.... i didn't expect the results will be like that.... i suffer pressure from the surrounding..... there are alot example which even worse than me,some even commit suicide...... in the positive way,i might be the luckiest one....in other way, i was nothing compare to my friends...
Result is killing me,
affecting my mood and
my future....
Who can console me?no one....
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I'm sorry
5th December 10
Mr khoo,i'm sorry...i scored badly in my phyics paper 1... i saw my friends score almost between 40-45/50.....but i scored badly....sorry,i'm useless... i know i have let u down....When the results announced,i didn't get any A in my physic,i think i have no face to face infront of u.... i'm very sad....I'm not just let u feel disappointed but i also feel ashame to myself... i loast my mood this few days and hardly to recover and never will be recovered....
Hopeless fell upon me,
i said i don't want to wait miracle to appear before.
But now....
I need you..
Mr khoo,i'm sorry...i scored badly in my phyics paper 1... i saw my friends score almost between 40-45/50.....but i scored badly....sorry,i'm useless... i know i have let u down....When the results announced,i didn't get any A in my physic,i think i have no face to face infront of u.... i'm very sad....I'm not just let u feel disappointed but i also feel ashame to myself... i loast my mood this few days and hardly to recover and never will be recovered....
Hopeless fell upon me,
i said i don't want to wait miracle to appear before.
But now....
I need you..
Friday, December 3, 2010
hopes..
3rd december2010
when every teachers try to help u and ur friends cheer u, u feel happy,warm and caring...but in the end,unwillingly...u bring the bad results for them....this kind of feeling,who will ever understand?? i am maybe....
after my physic paper,i was totally gived up hope....i scored 34/50 in my paper 1....paper 2 i was quite not sure...but paper 3 i was pretty confident that i would score between 30-35/40 marks..... my mother always tell me that it is fine that i din get any A,but make sure i never fail.... i knew she was trying to comfort me by not giving me pressure....and then...life is still going on.... I have a tuition teacher..everyone has too and some don't... my teacher told me that i will get A- for my physic.... but after i saw the score of my paper 1, i was devastated....thinking of i'm going to let him down....and the whole physic class get A except me a little hopeless guy...
so do u guys understand the feeling?? i lost my study mood...and if i really cant get A,how am i going to face my teacher??.... Many of my friends support me and keep telling me that i shouldn't has any problem... The truth is i'm going to let them down too....when the day the result has announced,the 1st moment that i will walk out from the hall with what kind of emotion??..sad?happy?....and later on,ringing will be heard...And i will be busy replying every ppl who asking about my results...If i pass with flying colour, i will talk loudly to them to show them that my effort is worth....if i fail,i will also talk loudly to ignore them by not telling them the result.....
why is it so suffer to be a human that i don't really wanna be? when u r born,u start learning from kindergarden to primary school....then study n having exam in the secondary school..later get degree from college....after that,u start working then u marry...or some continue studying...some maybe give up everything.... i just wanna to be an extraordinary guy...i want to do something different.... i wanna to do something that is meaningful and bring honour to the country and family... i don't want to sit down and wait miracle happens...the reason of sitting at home for studying whole day is just to sit for 2 hours exam only????
If good result can please and relief the burden of my family,
i am willing to fight from the beginning till the end....
-by me
when every teachers try to help u and ur friends cheer u, u feel happy,warm and caring...but in the end,unwillingly...u bring the bad results for them....this kind of feeling,who will ever understand?? i am maybe....
after my physic paper,i was totally gived up hope....i scored 34/50 in my paper 1....paper 2 i was quite not sure...but paper 3 i was pretty confident that i would score between 30-35/40 marks..... my mother always tell me that it is fine that i din get any A,but make sure i never fail.... i knew she was trying to comfort me by not giving me pressure....and then...life is still going on.... I have a tuition teacher..everyone has too and some don't... my teacher told me that i will get A- for my physic.... but after i saw the score of my paper 1, i was devastated....thinking of i'm going to let him down....and the whole physic class get A except me a little hopeless guy...
so do u guys understand the feeling?? i lost my study mood...and if i really cant get A,how am i going to face my teacher??.... Many of my friends support me and keep telling me that i shouldn't has any problem... The truth is i'm going to let them down too....when the day the result has announced,the 1st moment that i will walk out from the hall with what kind of emotion??..sad?happy?....and later on,ringing will be heard...And i will be busy replying every ppl who asking about my results...If i pass with flying colour, i will talk loudly to them to show them that my effort is worth....if i fail,i will also talk loudly to ignore them by not telling them the result.....
why is it so suffer to be a human that i don't really wanna be? when u r born,u start learning from kindergarden to primary school....then study n having exam in the secondary school..later get degree from college....after that,u start working then u marry...or some continue studying...some maybe give up everything.... i just wanna to be an extraordinary guy...i want to do something different.... i wanna to do something that is meaningful and bring honour to the country and family... i don't want to sit down and wait miracle happens...the reason of sitting at home for studying whole day is just to sit for 2 hours exam only????
If good result can please and relief the burden of my family,
i am willing to fight from the beginning till the end....
-by me
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